Understanding What Your Therapist Really Means—In Plain Language
Have you ever been in a therapy session or scrolling through mental health Instagram when your therapist (or a well-meaning quote) says something like:
“Let’s explore that trigger.”
“Just stay within your window of tolerance.”
“You need to start holding space for yourself.”
And your internal response is: What does that actually mean?
You’re not alone. Therapy language can be powerful, but let’s be honest—it can also feel like decoding another language. So let’s clear things up. Here’s a plain-English guide to some of the most common therapy buzzwords, what they actually mean, and why they matter for your healing.
1. Trigger
What it sounds like: A big red button that makes you instantly spiral.
What it really means: Something that sets off an emotional reaction—especially one linked to past pain or trauma.
Real talk: If seeing a certain movie scene makes you panic or someone’s tone makes you feel like you’re 10 again, that’s a trigger. It’s your brain saying, “This feels familiar and not safe.”
2. Holding Space
What it sounds like: You’re reserving a parking spot for your feelings.
What it really means: Being present with yourself or someone else without judging, fixing, or rushing.
Real talk: It’s allowing your emotions to be what they are without immediately trying to shut them down or change the subject.
3. Boundaries
What it sounds like: A fence around your life.
What it really means: The limits you set to protect your time, energy, and well-being.
Real talk: Saying “No” without guilt. Choosing not to answer that text at 11 p.m. Telling your family, “I’m not available to talk about that right now.” That’s boundary-setting. Remember: boundaries are meant to protect and preserve relationships, not punish or push people away.
4. Regulation / Dysregulation
What it sounds like: Something from a thermostat manual.
What it really means: Regulation = feeling emotionally steady and in control. Dysregulation = feeling overwhelmed, reactive, or out of control.
Real talk: When you’re regulated, you can respond thoughtfully. When you’re dysregulated, you might cry, shut down, lash out, or freeze.
5. Window of Tolerance
What it sounds like: A fancy name for patience.
What it really means: The emotional “zone” where you can function, feel your feelings, and stay grounded.
Real talk: Inside your window: You’re feeling anxious but can handle it. Outside your window: You’re so anxious you feel frozen or frantic. The window is a place where you can both feel emotion, but remain thoughtful and responsive. Therapy helps widen your window.
6. Validation
What it sounds like: Getting a gold sticker.
What it really means: Acknowledging that someone’s feelings, thoughts, or experience make sense—even if you don’t agree.
Real talk: “That was hard” or “It makes sense that you feel that way” = validation. It’s not about fixing, it’s about witnessing.
7. Inner Child Work
What it sounds like: Talking to a toddler version of yourself.
What it really means: Connecting with and healing the part of you that still carries childhood wounds, unmet needs, or fear.
Real talk: If you’re over-apologizing, people-pleasing, or reacting strongly to conflict, your inner child might be driving the bus.
8. Grounding
What it sounds like: Something your parents did when you stayed out too late.
What it really means: Techniques to help you reconnect with the present moment and your body.
Real talk: Taking deep breaths, touching something cold, noticing 5 things you see—these help when anxiety or panic pulls you out of the present.
9. Somatic
What it sounds like: A type of yoga or something scientific.
What it really means: Anything related to your body and how it holds emotion or trauma.
Real talk: Trauma isn’t just in your mind—it can live in your muscles, posture, breath. Somatic therapy helps you feel your way through healing, not just talk through it.
10. Radical Acceptance
What it sounds like: Giving up.
What it really means: Acknowledging reality as it is—even if you don’t like it—so you can stop suffering from fighting it.
Real talk: “This sucks, but it’s happening, and I can still take care of myself” is radical acceptance. It’s the first step to peace.
Final Thoughts: It’s Okay Not to Know
Therapy isn’t a vocabulary test. If your therapist uses a term you don’t understand, it’s completely okay to ask, “Can you explain what that means?” You don’t need a psych degree to do meaningful inner work—you just need curiosity, honesty, and support.
And if any of these words really resonate with you? That might be a great place to start journaling, exploring, or bringing to your next session.