Supporting a partner who is struggling with anxiety or depression can be incredibly challenging—and deeply meaningful. As a therapist, I often work with individuals navigating this experience, and the truth is: you don’t have to be a mental health expert to make a difference.
In this post, we’ll explore practical ways to support your partner while also taking care of yourself. Whether your loved one is newly diagnosed or has been living with mental health challenges for some time, these strategies can help both of you feel more grounded and connected.
Understanding Anxiety and Depression
Before jumping into what you can do, it’s important to understand what your partner may be going through.
Anxiety often involves persistent worry, restlessness, racing thoughts, and a heightened sense of fear or dread—even in everyday situations.
Depression is typically marked by sadness, low energy, lack of motivation, irritability, or feeling hopeless or withdrawn.
Your partner may not always be able to explain what they’re feeling—or why. That’s okay. What matters most is your consistent support and presence.
1. Educate Yourself
Learning about anxiety and depression can go a long way toward reducing frustration and building empathy. You might start with trusted resources from the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) or Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA).
Try searching for:
What causes anxiety and depression? Common symptoms and warning signs How therapy and medication can help
2. Listen Without Trying to “Fix”
When your partner opens up, it’s tempting to jump into problem-solving mode. But what they often need is someone who will simply listen with compassion.
Instead of saying:
“You just need to relax” or “Try to be more positive,”
Try:
“I hear how hard this is for you,”
“I’m here with you, even if I don’t fully understand.”
Tip: Don’t underestimate the power of your calm, non-judgmental presence.
3. Encourage Professional Support
While your love and care are essential, you cannot (and should not) be their therapist. Encourage your partner to seek help from a licensed professional.
You might say:
“I wonder if it might help to talk to someone trained to support you through this?” “I can help you look for a therapist if that feels overwhelming.”
If your partner is open to it, you could even offer to attend a session together.
4. Be Patient With Their Process
Healing from anxiety or depression doesn’t follow a straight line. There will be good days and hard days. Don’t take their symptoms personally or try to rush them into feeling better.
Some signs that may frustrate you (withdrawal, irritability, forgetfulness) are often symptoms, not reflections of how they feel about you.
Practice emotional patience by reminding yourself:
“My partner is struggling right now, not rejecting me.”
5. Take Care of Yourself, Too
Loving someone with anxiety or depression can be emotionally taxing. Make sure you’re tending to your own well-being. You might benefit from:
Speaking with your own therapist Journaling your feelings Setting healthy boundaries when needed Making space for joy and rest in your life
Remember: You can’t pour from an empty cup.
6. Celebrate Small Wins
Recovery takes time, but small steps forward deserve recognition. Celebrate your partner’s efforts—getting out of bed, attending therapy, expressing their emotions, or just trying something new.
Use affirming language like:
“I’m proud of you for going to your appointment.” “I know today was hard, and you showed up anyway.”
These moments of affirmation can be deeply healing.
Final Thoughts
Supporting a partner with anxiety or depression means showing up with empathy, consistency, and care—while also honoring your own limits. You don’t have to have all the answers. Just being present, listening openly, and encouraging professional help can make all the difference.
If you or your partner are struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out. Therapy can provide the tools, support, and insight both of you may need to thrive—individually and together.
